I would just like to announce the demise of this livejournal. Some people have decided to ignore my wishes that they not read my journal(not you zac :P) and thus I will delete this when i find the time in the next couple of days
Mood shift - > I'm driving myself up the wall. I feel the need to lash out. I wish i could do vigorous exercise right now. Stupid clots. Need to get something to clean out my sockets. NEED SOMETHING TO RELEASE ALL THIS RESTLESSNESS AND AGGRAVATION.
well, repairs on my car will be takin longer as my dad has to take the new transmission back out and redo everything(long story short, we went to murphy and the ride home was a race to get back before the clutch burned out again...with smoke coming out of thecar around 1/4 of the way there.)
we got ice cream in hayesville after by taking the truck. I have pop ups and chocolate ice cream.
Rochelle got a dvd in the mail the other day(it happens occasionally even though she doesn't do the internet dvd rental thing.) the movie is called Before Sunset. I was looking through the movies while in murphy and saw it. Read the back summary and now i'm a little afraid to watch it. Afraid it might remind me of people I decided to put behind me only a week ago. Meh =|
wedding pics are resized, just need to upload them. booyaka
OK, i actually took the time to analyze that dream of mine. Using both past experience talking to P-Jess about my dreams and a newly acquired dictionary of dream symbology(on sale for 5 bucks =p) I can ascertain this.
The voice behind me may have been my Shadow The shadow representing sides of my personality that i've either conciously ignored or subconciously repressed. The fact that the voice is taunting me and teasing me makes it more so, since the side of me that enjoys teasing and toying with people has been something I've held back mainly cause i hate the idea of manipulating people and their emotions. Even if part of me finds it fun. Paralysis often connects to conflicted emotions and urges. Which makes sense considering that during the wedding i was conflicted between my shyness/lack of self confidence and usual emotional conflict i have around new people.
I had more but the stiffness in my jaw is disctracting. rawr
I tried eating apple sauce and the place where my lower right wisdom tooth was started throbbing like a mofo. Oddly enough, i don't know if I'll need to take the pain medication while healing. That awaits to be seen tomorrow. Once my mouth is no longer numb i'm going to try and get some of those liquids(i'm supposed to drink 2 quarts in the first 23.......yeah right)
Weddding pictures are developed. Post them later. I's go back downstairs.
The last two days were awesome. The graduation was great, the after party was cool. I no longer have a car because the transmission finally quit on me. The wedding was perfect, if ya ask me at least. Holly looked great. The reception was fun. Met some people i had seen around but never talked to, like Melissa Harrison. who was nicer than i thought she'd be. There was a older gentleman there by the name of steve that could play guitar and piano like a mofo. Made me feel extremely inferior with my beginner skillz =p. I caught the garter and Holly's friend Sarah caught the bouquet. I thought that was kind of an odd coincidence since we are two of holly's better friends o.O. Later that night Sarah mentioned that some people were telling her it was tradition that the guy that caught the garter was supposed to put it on the girl who caught the bouquet. Holly laughed at that one and i kind of cracked up about it. Sarah ended up being an extremely awesome and nice person. A gamer chick that shared an affinity with teh cube. Someone i could talk SSBM with. Also talked to her about anime and manga. Which reminds me, I said i'd e-mail her and suggest some good scanlations.
I'm gonna play some ddr now..i'll have a better entry about my weekend later (yeah right XD)
P.S. One odd thing this morning. I was supposed to leave with my dad to buy groceries but i felt a bit sick so I stayed on the couch(where i had slept the last few days of my own volition. It's a comfort thing from when i was little and I generally think the couch is more comfortable even though i can no longer fit on it for being so tall.) at some point i was lying awake and turned toward the back of the couch. I had a thought about something being like a movie(a dream of mine that i get sometimes where i'm up at a friend of the family's house and bad stuff starts happening) when i hear an evil voice saying "what' movie, Jeremy?" and it continues to talk more and laugh. I can't move an inch. I try pushing myself around with my arms but they are frozen stiff. I start to get very frightened and even try to scream. I do but it's muffled cause my mouth won't open. Eventually i manage to use my leg to turn myself around. The room's empty.
Odd thing is.......I hadn't fallen asleep and I don't think it was a dream...tres bizare
I feel like i just want to sleep all weekend. Just close my ees and not get out of bed for 565432546 hours. Today was graduation rehearsal. A few people were late, dustin for one cause he forgot and jaread cause he was feeling bad. Was formally introduced to Holly's friend Sarah. Cute AND a red-head. rawr ;0 (sorry, it's been a joke between holly and I about how her hot friend is coming up from New Mexico for her wedding XD)
I need to call my cousin to tell her when my graduation is and i need to call brandon to figure out my after-graduation plans cause I want to go to the school thing even though it will probably end up being lame but i want to go to it for some reason.
Right now I'm going to look up the tab for Schism cause i've already figured out a small part of it but playing it on acoustic won't be possible. I'll have to get the bass out and learn it.
Your motto is laziness. It's not that you're dumb, you'd just rather devote your creativity towards elaborate pranks. You live for the thrill of slipping by with just barely enough luck to keep you out of trouble, and yet there's something undeniably charming about you. But don't get carried away-- that history test is just around the corner.
Before I type this up I want to remind everyone of one thing: People that try to help people with their problems usually make more problems than they solve. So no one try to be a good samaritan or i'll seriously hate you. You can tell me what you think or give kind words but leave it at that. I'm only typing this to talk about it somewhere.
An event that was probably 5 or 7 years in the making finally happened this morning. I got in a fist fight with my father. The last couple of days he's been a real asshole. I spent almost all of saturday cleaning the house and when he walks in he gets angry at me cause I hadn't had a chance to fill out a couple of invites for graduation(I had been busy cleaning). I hate the concept of graduation invitations cause all they are is for money. I hate money with a passion. I hate the idea of sending invitations to recieve money even more. Especially when one of the people is someone my dad is friends with but i don't even know. ESpecially when that person is well off and I feel like some piece of shit trying to make a little cash off of his good fortune. I was cleaning some chairs when he came in and asked me about it. He started bitching me out the second i said no. He started telling me that i never do anything and that I had been sitting on my ass upstairs the whole day. That really ticked me off cause I had already vaccuumed downstairs, swiftered/swept/mopped the kitchen and adjoining room, was about 75% done organizing the junk in my room and cleaning the kitchen(read: dirty lawn) chairs. Cleaning the chairs alone took me two hours cause i had i was being so meticulous. More bitching out later that day about the fact that I did nothing that day. He also treated me like i was his fucking maid, demanding I do this instead of asking nicely(I tell him he wasn't being polite and his response was "well you tell me when the whole world starts being polite" It's funny coming from someone who is always on my case about being nice to people even when they're assholes.) During the fight he also says the only reason he's angry is cause I'm an asshole. It's so fucking childish of him to blame his anger on me. He does it everytime. Even when i do nothing wrong. Like one time he asked me to get the laundry. At the time I had something in my mouth and did the whole "one sec while i swallow this down then i'll reply" signal. I was going to tell him i would, i just need to go upstairs and put up my away message. Before I even finish swallowing he is bitching me out for "pointing my finger at him" and when i try to explain he doesn't let me and closes the door in my face. Later that day i try to explain what i was going to say and before i even finish my first sentence he interrupts me and starts saying i am disrespectful and then gets angry at me when i "interrupt him" to try and finish what I was saying. "You never listen to other people" is what he always tells me. WELL SINCE WHEN DO YOU!?!? Anyways, I digress. The next day we have another arguement about more stupid stuff.
This morning i wake up and i can barely get out of my bed. I mean literally. I feel really dizzy and sick to my stomach and just getting my head up i a chore. I find a way to get up somehow and slowly wake up. Make my breakfast then to into the bathroom to splash water on my face and wet my hair. After I wet my hair my dad yells at me "Are you ever going to get out of that bathroom"? Right before I start to towel dry my hair. I get out and look at the clock. It's 6:45. We usually leave at 7:00 The only things i have left to do is put on a pair of pants and brush my teeth. Brushing my teeth takes 5 minutes and putting my pants on is no hard task. I say "it's only 6:45" and he says "yeah and soon it is going to be 7:00" I go upstairs and i can't remember how it starts but we get in an arguement. I decide i've had enough and don't want to deal with him anymore that day and tell him to just go to work without me. He says no that i'm going to school whether i like it or not(by this point I could give a shit less about school. It's the last week and i have nothing of substance to do anyways) I shove him out of my room. He hauls off and punches me in the face. I punch back and we end up being in a short scuffle(mainly cause I really didn't want to be in a fight) It was in the hallway and i was cbacked into the corner so there wasn'tt much room for any kind of dodging...It ends with me face down on the ground and him lying on top of me, pulling my head back by my hair. I could have easily gotten him off me by hitting him in his crotch with my elbow like he would do in that position but I refuse to fight dirty. Usually, I just refuse to fight...it's fucking stupid in the first place. After he gets off me I hurry and get some tissues to stop my nose from bleeding and to stop his eye from bleeding. My punches managed to cut his face under his left eye. I didn't have any jewelry on except my watch and that is on my left hand, I only threw a few right hooks. I hurried and got him something to dab it with and soon enough he starts getting into it again with me. I grab a pair of socks, put my shoes on(I had gone upstairs to grab my bookbag and put on my pants) and started walking down the road. I walked by the river my usual four miles and stopped at this bench and sat there for a while. I sat there for an hour or so just thinking and at times breaking down. I start walking back home and when i get back there is a message on the answering machine. It's dad asking me to call when i get back. He went to work..I go in the bathroom and look in the mirror. There's a circular area where he punched me and it looks kind of bad. It stung like a mofo while i was cleaning it. I took a pic so when i develop the film i'll post it....Looks like i'll have a bruise on my cheek and red marks for graduation.
There was no mention of an apology on the answering machine message and i can't really determine if he sounded sorry. He didn't really sound like it but he didn't sound angry either. More after I call him......
That was short and pointless. No apology but...ah who the fuck cares.
Did you ever notice that if you looked at the word Science long enough it starts to look like it's misspelled? Or maybe my head was just playing tricks on me while titling this afternoon after school. the orientation is done. I'm not doing anything else to it cause it's decent and fine the way it is. For some reason the time line started getting artifacts when ever a clip started and i'd never had that happen before on my computer so I'll blame it on the Mac I was using =p. It was odd. The only thing I want to do for it now is add a thank you at the end and maybe add some bumpers at the beginning. I can't decide between Siberkill Productions and Pheramone Studios though..........or maybe I should just go with my favorite of my own studio names, Aphasia Studios.
I watched the Angel Sanctuary OVA yesterday. A bit risque in it's love element....being it was brother and sister. It did raise some good questions however, like whether morallity was justified and even if it was, was it cowardice to conform to morallity of a society even if you didn't go with it. Though for such an extreme case as incest...there's no question that it's wrong. For other minor things you could raise the same question but not the major ones. It was also entertaining with good characters(Kira was interesting.) All in all the anime has me wanting to read the manga.
Expect an AMV sometime in the future as I am ripping the VOBs for safe keeping (it isn't my dvd) right now.
Porco Rosso was better than i thought it would be. Both Porco and The Cat Returns are great Studio Ghibli films. I just wish I could get ahold of Whispers of The Heart.
I got in App. apparently. I called today and for some reason they had me down as withdrawn on the 12th(the deadline was the 15th and i called the 12th to say I had sent my enrollment deposit and it was in the mail). Incompetence or just a simple mistake? Iunno but it doesn't matter. I'm in so booyaka
i'm supposed to cosplay as Cloud from Advent Children at AWA. This means I have to start working out a little to tone up a bit. It also means i'm going to be wearing clothing that is apparently skin tight......sorry to everyone there. Bran also making his own one sleeve turtlenecks ala Cloud from FFVII and asked me if i anted one. Not to mention I'm supposed to start learning some sword stuff at some point too....and the rave party he wants to hold in honor of graduation.
Bran kicks ass XD
Lets see, what else is there. I have to get started cleaning again. I only have a week and a half to get this house in tip top shape before having important visitors. Though i'm not sure the number of the visitors yet and they are actually camping at fires creek. They cleaned their house cause Brandon and I were spending the night when visiting so I'd feel bad if i didn't do the same. I want a different subsittute for my Small Bus. class. Our current sub is slowly driving us to revolt. HOW CONDESCENDING CAN YOU BE ><
Romantic life? Oi, lets not go there =p. I'm not even sure if i have one right now. It's..confusing and frustrating. I have to free up HD space. Time to burn all the cds i have to mp3. All....jeez i don't even know how many albums i have on my computer right now. I think it was around 192 last time i checked and all of those were things i got from other people.
I hadn't made an entry about anything in a while so...tada?
No e-mail so far about my enrollment to ASU. The final deadline was yesterday. I'm hoping the letter got there in time. I figure that they would let you know if they got the enrollment paper+ $200 deposit